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He was so deadly in fact that his foes would go blind from overexposure to pure awesomeness!” ~ Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness

I have always done a good deal of thinking, especially at night, on why in the world Andi (my twin sister) and I don’t have more friends. Part of the problem now is that I have no idea how to find or make a friend. I’ve only done it once in my life and it was eight years ago, and when you’re in elementary school you’re kind of forced to hang out with people.

Another part, Andi and I have decided, is that we must exude some sort of extremely strong awesomeness vybe and nobody can stand to be around it for very long. This may sound quite vain to you, but we actually have proof to back it up. Whenever we go to youth group or anywhere else really, people generally stay away from us. They don’t come up to talk to us and they act like we’re not even there. This doesn’t really make much sense, because honestly (and we may be a bit biased), we are the awesomest people we know. We both have cool taste in music and seemingly life in general, we don’t care much about appearances or stupid “drama,” and we are actually quite funny and smart (when I say this, I’m honestly not trying to “toot my own horn” ~ that being a phrase that I hoped I would never have to use. We have great ideas and plenty of common sense, at least in comparison to most of the people we’re around, and we have gotten comments on these traits). In every sense of the word, we should be quite popular, except for our lack of social skills and introverted tendences, and in an alternate universe we probably would be.

There have even been times when we have gone to class and sat at a table (each table having four chairs), and nobody in the class would sit by us unless the rest of the classroom was full. We don’t spread out and try to keep the table for ourselves, either; we squash ourselves into the wall so there’s plenty of room for company. A couple of times a person would even come in, sit at our table, and then in a few minutes get up and MOVE.

We have also been able to explain the few friends that we DO have. Rachel, our best friend, we have known for eight years, and we’ve decided that she’s in a way IMMUNE to our “awesomeness vybe” because she was there while it was still developing. This is pretty much how it is with the other few friends that we have, and our cousins, naturally. There is one friend that is a recent one, but it seems like half the time she doesn’t even follow what we’re talking about.

I do have one acquaintance that I’ve had my eye on, and I think he might be able to handle it, him being at a respectable degree of awesomeness himself. I’m hoping, but I’m trying not to get too stuck on it. I kind of feel like I’m waiting for something that isn’t going to happen.

So take this as fair warning to you, world. Beware our awesomeness.

BEWARE.

kung fu panda

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