What if animals could talk? What are some questions you would ask?

I would like to think that if animals could speak, things would be changed for the better. But honestly, when I think about it, I don’t know if it really would be. One major thing that sets us humans apart from the animal kingdom is our ability to speak, and frankly that hasn’t worked out too well for me. I find it considerably more difficult to communicate with speaking humans than with nonspeaking animals, so why would I prefer it if the creatures I have such a nominal relationship with right now become like the creatures I have a terrible acquaintanceship with? And besides, like Qui-Gon Jinn says, “The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.” I listen to enough stupid humans talk as it is ~ I don’t need to listen to a bunch of inferiorly-intelligent animals talking all the time too.

So I guess I’m saying I like how it is already, that animals don’t talk. Everyone wishes their favorite animal friend could speak to them, but what I’m trying to say is that I doubt that animal would be your friend if it could speak (sorry to bum you out, just being realistic here). But if they did speak and I was interviewing one, I would probably ask a lot of questions of racehorses. Most likely I would talk the most to spiders, because they’re the ones I hang out with the most anyway. I doubt anyone would be as scared of spiders and snakes as they are now. “So, Mr. Snake, what’s it like to know your mere presence instills fear in the hearts of men?”